Stop Pretending

At Emerald City Comic Con, you meet a lot of characters–whether that’s people in cosplay (think Halloween costumes, but way more effort), or just people who some would find a bit odd. Meeting all these people is the thing that makes this convention the highlight of my year. Most importantly, it provides a glimpse of all the people that God calls me to love. 

Most tragically, it reminds me of all the people too many American Christians would like to pretend didn’t exist. 

At any sufficiently large gathering of nerds, there will be people who feel they don’t belong in many other spaces. They might think their interests are too niche; they might lack–or just have little interest in developing–social skills that would smooth over interactions; they might embrace an identity that causes too many in the mainstream to bristle. 

This is why conventions like ECCC are such wonderful places. Whoever you are, whatever your interests, you will find someone to connect with at a con. One of my favorite things to do as I wander through a convention is to ask people what they’re into. Almost without fail, people come alive at the chance to express what they are passionate about. In this setting, all I have to do to help someone feel loved is take a genuine interest in what they like; they handle the rest. The convention is a place where people don’t fear being themselves; the nature of the gathering makes people inherently comfortable to share what they love and who they are. 

Honestly, it makes me long for a day when churches can be these sorts of spaces. 

Some are. I’ve had (and currently have) the privilege of attending churches that were very conscious of the wide range of people who attended–people of various ethnicities, sexualities, and conceptions of gender. The pastors of these churches set clear expectations for their congregations: we would welcome and love those who found their way into the church. These pastors were also capable of effectively preaching the truth of the gospel. They knew that the best conviction came from the Holy Spirit, not a stranger talking on a microphone. These ministers did the work necessary to build trust, and create environments in which people felt they were seen and known, even as God used that congregation to confront sin in their lives. 

Far too many American churches, however, can’t be bothered to put in such effort. They expect people to already act Christian before they even walk in the door. If someone doesn’t meet that particular congregation’s idea of what “Christian” looks like–be it demeanor, race, political affiliation, or what have you–then these churches feel the person should have known better than to walk in the door in the first place. 

This holds particularly true for people who are transgender, or who do not conform to a gender binary. 

Again, the comparison between the way this population is often treated at churches and what I saw at ECCC is staggering. At the convention, people just talk to each other—transgender, cisgender, or anything around or in between. They ask about each other's cosplays; they mention panels they are excited to see; they ask if someone wants to learn a new board game. The inherently accepting nature of the gathering makes it so much easier to just enjoy the company of fellow nerds. 

Sadly, I think it goes without saying this is far from the experience of people who are transgender or nonbinary in far too many churches. 

I should acknowledge an important difference between these two spaces I am comparing: their purpose. A convention really only aims to gather people; a church disciples people toward a closer relationship with Jesus. The latter has significantly higher expectations than simply acquiring a badge and deciding whether you want to take the train or a Lyft. 

Yet despite this core difference, both these spaces should still start at the same place: welcome those who come in the door. Whatever happens after a person enters, both conventions and churches can only be successful in their mission if a person feels like others want them to be there. In both cases, people need to feel they belong. 

Instead of welcoming, however, too many American Christians would rather follow the lead of our current president: simply pretend transgender and nonbinary people don’t exist. This is, after all, the stated policy of the Trump administration, one it expects the entire federal government to follow. Since the idea of someone who is transgender or nonbinary is confusing to many followers of Jesus, we would simply rather act as though such people aren’t real.

I saw far too many echoes of this policy—and the fear, dehumanization, and neglect that come with it—as I enjoyed ECCC. One banner in particular—which proclaimed “We are glad that you exist” in massive font—haunts me. Has that really become the baseline for expressing care: merely recognizing someone’s existence? What does that say about how someone feels in their day-to-day life? In a world where Christians are called to live like Jesus, such a sign should never even need to exist. 

After all, Jesus did the exact opposite of what the Trump administration demands. Rather than shun those society deemed unworthy of attention, Jesus sought them out and welcomed them.

When children wished to come to Jesus he did not ignore them, despite the disciples’ objections.

When a tax collector–hated by the people–climbed a tree just to catch a glimpse of our Lord, Jesus invited himself to the man’s house.

When a Samaritan woman went to a well in the heat of the day to avoid public ridicule, Jesus showed her just how well he knew her. 

Through these and a host more examples, Jesus repeatedly shows that he refuses to ignore those society seeks to reject. He loves them; he welcomes them; he heals them; he saves them. 

There are a lot of good conversations to be had about how the church should seek to love and confront questions of gender and sexual identity. None of them are easy to answer, and every one is as unique as the person to whom it applies. But when God says he “wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth,” he doesn’t leave out those who are transgender or nonbinary. To follow Jesus, we have to be willing to love all of those he calls us to love. That love can’t start if we aren’t first willing to welcome people. 

In short: American Christians can never hope to follow Jesus’ example as long as we try to pretend people who are transgender or nonbinary don’t exist.